


Unbearable

by sentimental_fool



Series: On Bears and Bees [2]
Category: Rivers of London - Ben Aaronovitch
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-10
Updated: 2013-08-11
Packaged: 2017-12-23 01:19:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/920316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sentimental_fool/pseuds/sentimental_fool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not so fun being special if being special is just the thing driving you on the edge of losing control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Bear with me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/891349) by [sentimental_fool](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sentimental_fool/pseuds/sentimental_fool). 



> Tells the story of "Bear with me" from Annes point of view.

_Darn this weather. Such a beautiful country with such a depressing climate. How can it rain so much?_

Anne was happy she was accustomed to field work and nasty weather conditions. But she admitted it would have been much more pleasant to visit this place without being soaked to your core. It was one of the most beautiful cemeteries she had ever seen – so gothic that she was waiting for The Count Dracula to step out anytime. She actually recalled faintly that some vampire films had indeed been filmed on the Highgate Cemetery. Map she had been given by the church administrator when she was getting the permit to access the area after closing time was soaked to pulp, totally unusable. Thankfully she had a good spatial memory. Kind of. Had she had any idea where she was now, she would quite likely know where to head next. Unfortunately, the coordinates of her current location were more or less obscure.

_Fuck. Why didn't I take GPS Marcus had offered? Why do I have to be so stubborn?_

She was reading the plaques from mausoleums in order to catch some famous names she might remember from the map. She just wanted to give up: it was quite late season to look for adult spiders anyway.

She noticed that there was a man walking towards her. All kinds of scenarios processed in her brain. How likely it was that somebody was doing anything legal on the closed cemetery at this time of night? Well, she was, but…

_Oh please don't try anything… I don't want to hurt you._

Her control was so thin nowadays. Keeping the beast at bay was costing her more and more each day. Whenever hurt, scared or angry she might just turn into this uncontrollable monster. She didn't want to. She breathed in, braced herself and turned towards the man.

Handsome man, she could not help noticing just before she realized there was a police badge in his hand. She relaxed and breathed out. Certainly she must have seemed suspicious lurking here by night. And hey, now she could ask for directions!

"Good…evening ma'am," police officer said, nodding and still keeping his badge at clear view.

 _Oh, so very handsome. Somewhere between forty and fifty. Tall, easily towering over her. Nicely dressed_ . She hadn't realized rain gear could look so… stylish. He had a silver topped gentleman's cane. That was bit unusual, but then again, she was not particularly versed in the latest trends in cop couture. She realized she was just staring like an idiot and quickly nodded, trying to look indifferent. She was certain she was blushing. _Stupid stupid._

"Cemetery should be closed at this time of night. May I ask what you are doing here?," He was polite, but cool and distant.

 _Strong, yet somehow gentle features. Spark of intelligence in the eyes. And what a wonderful accent._ She just could not help it – what the English thought was irritatingly posh way of speaking, was, thanks to old BBC, to her and many other foreigners so awesome and thoroughly British.

But better not to have any restless thoughts. She had sworn off sex years ago. Any normal people sleeping with her were sure to get a fit. And there was so few of those special ones who didn't freak out. Magic people. And not only were they exceedingly rare, all of them were so _old_ … not that she would really mind - age was just a number - but they were not simply interested anymore.

But despite of her best efforts to immerse herself into her work and stop being an idiot, she was thinking of sex all the time nowadays. She should really get the grip of herself. No wonder the beast was so impossible to restrain if she was letting herself get distracted like this. _Calm down._ Why there had to be so attractive people… Just like that woman in Sydney - that had been a close call.

She almost sighed in physical pain of need, but gave this handsome police officer a smile instead. She very carefully dug out a damp paper from her bag.

"Here is my permission to be here. I am looking for this special spider," she said handing the paper over.

" _Meta bourneti_ , I guess," said the police, bit grumpily, studying the paper.

_Wow. Exciting man._

"Well, yes! And here is my ID," she presented her passport, continuing "So, you know spiders?"

"Some," he answered, flatly. He wasn't obviously keen on keeping up the conversation and was looking stern and tired as he reached for her passport.

He wasn't at the least interested in her. She just knew, like always. She couldn't say that she was surprised. She was under no illusion that she would be appealing at first sight for the majority of western "civilization". At least younger men and even women were so brainwashed by media, that anything above size ten, not to mention someone of her proportions would be categorized unfit as partners. Most people wised up as they got older, however. Maybe he was gay? She could not help feeling bit disappointed and tried to think the positive sides: now she didn't have to fight to keep clear. No sex - no traumatized people. It was good. Absolutely great.

And then her hand accidentally touched his. She jerked it back, startled.

"Magic man?," words were out before she could help it.

His eyes widened. Now he was interested.

"What did you call me?," he frowned and took a quick look at her passport. Suddenly there was something like smirk faltering in the corner of his mouth. And he started to talk in Finnish.

 _Unbelievable. Magic man, who spoke Finnish!_ She was dumbfound.

He introduced himself as Inspector Thomas Nightingale. _What a charming name._ And he was charming now, too, abruptly full of interest – and yes _, that_ kind of interest was seeping in also – asking questions and smiling so warmly her insides were curling from happiness. He was looking at her, like studying her. She would have felt like some sort of laboratory animal, if the investigating eyes had not been so compelling. _So kind, beautiful eyes, grey as the frostkissed trunks of trees..._ _A good man._ She had hard time concentrating. Need was filling her mind and she had to bite inside of her lip painfully to kick it back.

His Finnish was rusty and he needed to look for words a bit. He also used some really old-fashioned words and expressions, some she recognized only because her granny had used them. Not so unique to foreign speaker of any language – she was well aware of herself using sometimes very awkward English. And even in Finnish, his BBC-accent was filtering through. She was so done for. She knew that she was smiling like a lunatic and staring him openly like he was something she would like to eat – a man-sized chocolate bar. She didn't care.

He was happy to help her to find her spiders and was also giving her some pointers to other places near London to go and find some other cool species. She wrote the addresses down to her notebook.

Inspector Nightingale looked at her pensively. And after hesitation asked, was she, what he thought she was. She admitted, freezing. He just nodded, eyes darkening a bit. And then he flashed a wonderful smile.

She was melting into mental puddle. _He knew what she was – and he didn't mind!_ Fierce joy and relief flooded over her. Now she had to know for sure, whether she was interpreting him wrong. She reached her hand to touch his cheek. He let her, bending down towards her and letting her hold his face.

_Oh please , please…_

His skin was cool, stubble felt nice… there was magic so strong she had never known such thing existed, so much power. Dizzying. There was something off – normally she could tell his age, but it was incoherent and weird… _oh, nevermind._ And _there_ it was that she was looking for: desire, longing. She could taste it in her mouth, feel it spike through her body. She almost groaned. But wanting and doing are two different things. Oh, how she wished he would consent. She lowered her hand, it was trembling.

From the corner of her eye she could see someone else getting closer. She could not drag her gaze from Inspectors eyes, trying to find the words to ask this total stranger to sleep with her. Her mouth was dry and her head was empty.

She just could not make herself blurt something like that out. She wanted to be subtle and witty, but her brain was a haze of want and need and possibilities ... _why does our biology make us such fools?_ So she just kept on casual conversation, noticing that person getting closer was another police officer. How annoying. She really didn't want to be interrupted now.

And suddenly she was sensing bad things. There was death in the air and beast inside of her stirred.

_No._

Quick look at another police told her that he was angry and dangerous. A threat. Fear groped her and inside, something woke up.

_No no no… there is no need. There is a person with magic, a police with magic with me. I don't have to…_

Inspector Nightingale turned and stepped between her and younger officer.

She could not see, but she sensed the tension. She also could tell that it eased. But it was too late: what had started was now rushing ahead like a runaway train. Beast was rising in response to her fear. She struggled, tried to calm it down, but deep growl was rumbling in her chest and world was turning red. No matter what, it was getting free.

_No. please no._

But now there was the magic man, turning to her, taking her hands, looking into her eyes and explaining that everything was fine, there was no danger. That she had misinterpreted his colleague. _Really?_ But she so wanted to believe and his soothing voice and calmness was pushing the beast away, making it sleepy.

The power of the beast was subsiding. It was all flowing to his hands. She grabbed them harder and let it go, let him drain her.

And then it was just her again. She could feel the beast - it was quiet, much more quiet than it had been in years. She looked at Nightingale.

  
 _Superhero. That's what he was. A magic superhero._


	2. Chapter 2

Inspector Nightingale looked worried. Anne was confused, partly thrilled and partly so ashamed of her lack of control that she could barely speak. She started stammering in English, but resorted to her native language when words wouldn't come. She told him she was sorry and he was just repeating that it was all right now. He tried to ask, whether she actually knew what is happening to her. For some reason question irritated her. She said she knew well enough. No reason for him to bother to go there, really. From the slight tightening of his jaw she could tell he didn't share her view. But he tactfully let it go.

She only now realized that it wasn't just the beast that was gone. The burning lust, the need, had also subsided. _How odd_. He looked at the Inspector. He smiled faintly, traces of worry still on his face, grey eyes so warm... there was a jolt in her stomach. Want was still there, she definitely wanted this amazing man, but overpowering need had left her. _She_ had the control, not her body. She felt fabulous. It would be only right to exercise her newly found freer will and try to drag this gorgeous, gorgeous Inspector to the nearest decent hotel with her.

And then the other officer cut in. She had totally forgotten him. _Oh bother_. Inspector introduced him as PC Peter Grant. She tried to be as polite as it was possible in midst of her frustration.

Anne estimated that Grant was a jot under thirty - maybe bit young for her taste. He was of mixed race and very good looking - in a decade or two he'd be absolutely stunning. _What are the odds of running into two breathtaking police officers on the same night? Was London Police investing on their public image by hiring eye-candy?_ Thought amused her.

If she was annoyed by the presence of Grant, it was nothing compared to the irritation that was glaring from _his_ face. She couldn't figure out what was it that was ticking him off. She was getting a feeling, that the threat she had felt before and this discontent she was interpreting from him now, were both targeted at her. _Why?_ She had done absolutely nothing wrong before he had rushed on the spot and scared her almost to rip him into pieces. Idea that she might have accidentally hurt this young man, who was, after all, on the duty and probably had some good reason to act the way he did... shame knotted into her throat, and she felt like it would choke her.

Awkward silence had fallen. To break it she said the first thing that popped to her head and complimented Inspector on his language skills. And they easily, so easily slipped into the conversation about languages in general. He knew many. She was genuinely impressed. Talking with him was effortless and enjoyable. She was having awesome time, in middle of tombstones, soaking wet from the damp mist and rain. How utterly lovely would it be to have a conversation in someplace nice? It was like the whole stupid thing with her beast had never happened.

Only that now she was aware of the young officer.

Grant was watching them but looked now more absent-minded than angry. She thought she saw a hint or pain flashing on his face. There was something in the way he looked at Inspector... _Oh, of course! They are couple!_ Realization and  following disappointment hit her harder than she wanted to admit. Taking that into account she could well understand why he wasn't particularly fond of her. Her lustful purposes must have been quite transparent. _How embarrassing_. It didn't explain all the violent anger she had sensed before, but maybe Inspector was telling the truth and Grant had come rushing and ready to fight, because he had thought there was a suspect... or something.

Well, that was it, then. She didn't do people who were taken. Not even when they were drop-dead dreamy magic superheros. Half an hour ago she wouldn't have probably minded, need burning all her good intentions to ashes, but now she could do the right thing and just walk away.

And so she did, leaving her business card to Inspector - it would be nice to get more tips on spider-sites, anyway.

After getting far enough not to be seen, she just slumped to the wet bench, exhausted, and gave out a tiny sob. _Too much everything, too much emotion. Why can't I be like everybody else?_ Self-pity wasn't really for her, but for a little while she let herself wallow in it. Eventually she pulled herself together, noticing how much easier it was now that both the beast and the need were just whispers in the corner of her mind. There was still time to find those spideys.

 _I have no idea where I should go_. With all the things happening, she had actually forgotten how to find her original destination.  _How stupid can you get?_ She guessed officers had already left so there wasn't much point in going back to ask for direction again. She noticed that she'd have to return, regardless - she had left the camera bag behind. _Typical._

To her surprise, officers were still there, talking together, facing away from her.

Padding closer she watched them carefully. It was always hard to pinpoint what gave couples away, but she was now totally certain they were involved. She still couldn't help that her heart started to pound quicker from the sight of Inspector.

She managed to startle them slightly, but got her bag and also remembered to ask the way. Grant seemed much more benevolent towards her. Maybe even slightly interested? _Shush silly._ Walking toward Egyptian Avenue she suddenly got this crazy idea, turned and shouted to Inspector in Finnish that if he and his yummy boyfriend wanted threesome, he could call her. And strode away as soon as possible.

She was totally shocked of what she had just done.  _Why did I do that? Hadn't I been embarrassing enough for one night?_ Her face and ears were burning and she was happy there was nobody there to see her. _  
_


End file.
